Split Lip Spells Splitsville for Spin-Off

NEW ORLEANS – The unnamed fantasy football league thatleaguelogo1.gif only last year declared its independence from the juggernaut Bayou Big Ten is reeling this morning after an organizational meeting turned violent last night.

Sources within the league, dubbed by its critics as the “Best Bank 4,” say Jeffrey Davidson, a pugilistic lawyer in Plaquemines Parish known for his penchant for tank tops and sweat pants, struck co-founder John Bair in the chops during an argument over one the league’s rules. Bair, who was rushed to the emergency room by fellow league owner Roger W. Kitchens, is said to have suffered lacerations to his face and lips as a result of the
blow.

“We’d gotten through 95 percent of the meeting pretty well,” said Kitchens, who refused to disclose which proposed regulation provoked the altercation. But toward the end of the night, Bair and Davidson began to argue and Bair “put his hands behind his back and challenged Davidson to punch him in the face,” said Kitchens. Davidson obliged with a right hook to the kisser.

When apprised of the fistfight, Bayou Big Ten Commissioner Michael H. Pinkerton said he was shocked and disappointed by the the actions of his former fantasy league mates. “We knew there would be some spirited debates within the new group,” said Pinkerton, who led his underdog Pachyderms to an incredibly narrow – and to members of the new league, controversial – victory in Bayou Bowl VI. “But we never dreamed it would be physically violent. Our prayers are with those guys and we hope they’re able to patch things up.”

But Kitchens and others within the new league were less optimistic. “Davidson punched Bair and there is no league,” said a clearly downtrodden Kitchens, who was only minimally buoyed by the fact he never relinquished his Bayou Big Ten franchise. “At least I never quit the Bayou Big Ten.”

Davidson and Bair declined comment.

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